How Corny Can You Get?
by DanteUesugi
Summary: Edward tells Envy his feelings, in the most embarrassing way possible. EnyxEd AU


Edward paced back and forth, his mind in shambles. His sweaty palms gripped the stems of twelve roses, all wrapped in a red satin bow. Who was this bouquet of roses for, you ask? No other than Envy William, Edward's hopefully soon to be boyfriend. He had been pretty much stalking him ever since that prick of a guy, Roy Mustang broke up with him. When he saw the heartbreak in the young teen, he knew in that moment he needed to make his move, quickly. He couldn't tolerate the fact that Envy was starting to slowly shut down, no longer talking to friends and even to the point of losing his signature attitude. If Edward didn't do something quick, he knew he wouldn't have a chance later.

But even though he already made up his mind as to what to do, that didn't help curb this endless tremor going through his stomach. He stopped pacing.

"What are you doing out there, Edward?" Envy questioned him from the safe distance of his bedroom window, two floors up. Edward looked up at hearing a voice. His breaths hitch as he stared longingly at Envy. He was looked amazing, even though he had bags under his weary violet eyes. His hair was tied in a never-before-seen ponytail that allowed viewers to have a complete look at his teenage face. He was like a mini-sex god (just probably not that mini).

"Answer me or I'll call the police." Whenever Envy threatened to call the police, it was never just a threat. It was a promise. Realizing this, Edward quickly gathered his wits and held up the roses.

"I just want to talk to you." Envy regarded him for a moment, wondering if he could trust him or not. Desperately, Edward added, "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." Envy scrunched his brows together in slight apprehension. If Edward ever made a promise, he always kept it. He sighed in defeat.

"I'll be down in a minute." Happy at his victory Edward jumped off the ground, dramatically saying a loud 'yes' that was sure to wake up a few neighbors (not that he cared, though). Envy opened the front door only wearing black pajama pants. Before he could say anything, Envy stepped aside.

"Come inside, it's freezing out there." For a split second, Edward stood frozen, not knowing what to do next. But being such a gentlemen he was, (cough) he walked into the inviting home. Envy closed the door behind him and crossed his arms over his bare chest, half trying to warm up, the other to pressure Edward to hurry up and say what he needed to say.

"Well?" Patience was definitely not one of his strong suits. Edward, taking his hint, pushed the bundle of roses in Envy's arms. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself to say one of the corniest lines ever made in the 21st century.

"I will love until the last rose dies." The look on Envy's face was priceless. For a couple of minutes, they both stood staring at each other until Envy started to laugh manically.

"L-let me g-guess," He clutched his stomach as he tried to control his giggles (yes, giggles). "Eleven of these are real but one is fake, right?" Terrified that Envy actually correctly guessed his plan, he thought of a different tactic. Envy waved the flowers in front of his face, tauntingly.

"Well then it looks like I have to burn all of them, real or fake." Edward ignored the hurtful words but in returned said, "Last night I looked up into the stars and matched each one with a reason why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars."

"They must have committed suicide when they realized they were going to be associated with you." Thinking fast, Edward thought of another line.

"Life without you is like a broken pencil, pointless."

"You keep talking like that, and your pencil _will _be broken." Envy told him, referring to Edward Jr. At his wits end, Edward thought of more things to say.

"Did it hurt, when God removed your wings and sent you down to earth?"

"One, I'm an atheist. And two, you're an idiot if you think you're going to get me with such cheesy lines." Edward snapped.

"For cripes sake, what the hell do you want me to say? I'm pretty much laying my heart out for you and all your doing is smacking down on the ground and stomping on it! I give you roses that represent my love for you, but what do you do? You flaunt them in front of my face like they represent nothing! I lov-" He was cut off when Envy smashed his lips onto his in a bruising, but passionate kiss. Envy pulled back with a satisfied smirk.

"All you need is a bit of back bone, Ed." Edward was still gasping for his breath while a blush spread across his cheeks.

"Does this mean you'll go out with me?" The hope that Edward felt was short-lived as he saw the smirk of Envy's face replaced with a frown.

"Are you kidding? No way! Unless you have black hair and eyes, then you have no chance with me, shrimp." Edward was so heartbroken by Envy's words that he didn't even notice when he insulted him. Seeing the downtrodden look on Edward's chibi face, he smiled.

"Let's start out slower, as friends." Envy's smile must have worked, for Edward hugged him and kept him in the embrace for a while. Although reluctant, Envy hugged him back, patting him on his back.

"Edward?" Envy whispered while inhaling the shorter one's scent.

"Yea?"

"Where exactly did you get those weird lines from?" Edward was glad his face was on Envy's bare chest so he couldn't see his blush.

"''"

"I thought so."

* * *

My first one-shot ;P ~DanteUesugi~


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